Navigating adulthood in today’s economy is becoming increasingly challenging, not least for young people desperately trying to make their way independently.

Between soaring rent prices, student loan debt, and the ever-rising cost of living, it’s comes as no surprise that everything requires careful planning and sometimes even some external support.

One man, identified as NoDivide4576, found himself at the center of a heated debate on parenting philosophy and responsibilities when he shared his approach to supporting his 20-year-old daughter.

Currently living rent-free with her father while attending college, she had initially agreed to an arrangement that both her and NoDivide4576 had agreed was fair – exchanging cooking and cleaning for accommodation.

In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I The A*****e,’ NoDivide4576 laid out the situation, asking for fellow Reddit users’ opinions on the issue. He explained: “When she moved back home, we made a deal where she would cook and clean the house as a form of payment for her living here. She agreed to it, and we both thought it was fair.”

A clash of expectations

However, a recent development led to a clash of expectations. “However, recently, she approached me and said that the cooking and cleaning are taking up too much of her time, making it hard for her to study and complete her homework. She asked if I could reduce the number of days she has to cook to give her more time for her studies,” NoDivide4576 wrote.

In response, the father chose to stand firm on the original agreement, explaining to his daughter that she was in a very different position to other people her age. “I told her that she should be grateful for the deal I offered her and that it’s not that hard to do a few hours of chores compared to what many kids her age are going through,” the father said.

“I pointed out that some of her peers are working 9-5 while going to school simultaneously, and I’ve given her the luxury of just handling some household chores in exchange for free housing,” he added.

The daughter, feeling the need to address her concerns, took the matter to her aunt (NoDivide4576’s sister) without her father’s knowledge. “My sister called me, and kind of went off on me, basically saying I’m being too strict and should listen to my daughter,” NoDivide4576 wrote in his post.

He then concluded by asking other Redditors whether he was being too harsh.

Reddit’s response

The online community’s response was generally favorable towards the daughter, with quite a few people accusing the dad of taking advantage of her.

One person wrote: “[You’re the a*****e] for not listening properly to your daughter. You say ‘many people do this, that and the other’, well your daughter is not many people. She is overwhelmed with the sum of her duties right now. She is just asking you not to have to cook some days of the week, so that she may catch up on her school work. Is that so terribly unreasonable? I don’t think so.”

They continued: “You could let her not cook in the weekend, the whole arrangement to be evaluated in three months to see how it works for your family. That would be a reasonable arrangement.”

Someone else agreed, adding: “I was a student that required a lot of time to study…I would reduce her chores so she can do her best with school. You will be very proud when she graduates.”

A further user chimed in with: “It’s sad that [NoDivide4576] is treating this whole situation like it’s a huge favor to their daughter, too. There’s an air of ‘well, if she didn’t do these things, she’d be homeless.’ Like… it sounds like their daughter is really trying her best and pushing herself here. It seems drastic to potentially consider kicking out your own kid who’s very young, working toward a better future for herself, and is evidently willing to help out when she can.”

Hmmm… What would you have done if you were in this father’s position? Let us know in the comments!