I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.”

Some animals have physical features without which we could not imagine their species: the long neck of giraffes, or the tentacles of octopuses. It is for this reason that the Nelson hedgehog is a very rare representative of his species: for completely unknown reasons he was born as you see him – without a needle!…

On Christmas Day, Aunt Margaret and Uncle George arrived with their new Mastiff, causing chaos as the enormous dog disrupted the festivities. The unexpected guest posed a significant problem for my wife, who suffered from severe dog allergies. The Mastiff, bounding around the living room and knocking over ornaments, disregarded our explicit invitations prohibiting pets….

car accident. The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye. The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar…

My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night. “I’ve cooked dinner,” she screamed, “And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I’m going to feed it to the dog.” “Woooah! That’s bang out of order!” I said, “It’s not his fault.”   My wife called me as I was sat…

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her annoyance, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and…